2012

2013 has been divided into two distinct parts; my life as an expat living and working in Morocco and my life as a repatriate living in the area where I grew up in the U.S. One year, equally divided between life abroad and life in the U.S., a life of great activity and struggle and a life of complete calm and reflection. What a balancing act!

Life in Morocco was like attending an intensive course in a subject matter I am hard-pressed to name. After 5 years. I should have earned a diploma for completing this course. And I do feel like I completed it. But what would I give myself a degree in? I guess it all boiled down to gaining experience and discovering my basic character. I chose not to stay and go for my Master's degree. I felt I had learned what I needed to learn and by the time June arrived I desperately wanted to change the scene. I needed to reflect on all that had happened.

The Universe provided me with a place to retreat to and so here I sit in a very peaceful, beach side setting. It couldn't be more different from where I had been, sitting in a vertical house in a walled city with people everywhere. I spend most of my days in solitude. I retire early and wake up even earlier. The days have drifted by.

The first half of this year I spent my days juggling my time between 4 or 5 jobs. During the second half my main job has been trying to process the knowledge I acquired living abroad. This processing led to musings about all the preceding years and I've had many discussions with myself about my unconventional life.

What will happen next? I have no idea but I am sure the more I understand about myself as I approach 2012, the better the experience will be.

Bring it on!

Act IV

I left Morocco five months ago. Some believe I ran away, some hope I will return someday. I just knew it was time to leave even though it was very difficult to do so. 

I left a house, a business and a husband back in Morocco. I quit the five different jobs I was doing to support the house, the business and the husband because I was very, very weary. Everything seemed so difficult and eventually I realized the hardest part of my life was the part where I was working for someone else's dream. It had to stop.

I enjoyed being a teacher, a belly dance instructor and the editor of Cafe Clock's blog. But I didn't enjoy being responsible for the constant renovations and upkeep the house required. I liked meeting the tourists who stayed in my house (which is also a bed & breakfast) and I enjoyed the income their stays provided, but I was worn down by the strain of keeping the house 'inspection ready' and changing out the rooms by myself. 

I left Morocco with a large portion of my savings invested in the house and the bed & breakfast business. I sold jewelry, clothing, furniture, books and DVDs to finance my exodus. I packed up all the textiles I could and arranged to ship them to the U.S. for sale later. I left on a wing and a prayer that I could begin once again. 

I'm almost 60 years old now and Act IV, in my crazy, chaotic and one-of-a-kind life is underway.